At 53, Josh Duhamel is starting over. Just not in the way you may expect.

The actor is about to become a father again, with wife Audra Mari due to give birth to a little girl. The couple shares a 2-year-old son, Shepherd, and Duhamel is also dad to 12-year-old Axl, his son with ex-wife Fergie. It’ll be his first foray into the girl dad club.

“Oh, she's going to have me wrapped around her finger,” he tells me for Yahoo’s interview series, Off the Cuff. “I can already tell.”

It’s a season of reflection for the veteran star, one arriving, as he puts it, when “all my friends are either sending their kids off to college or becoming grandfathers. Here I am having more kids, but this is the way I was supposed to do it.”

And this time around, the mindset is different.

“I'm not as stressed out as I was before. I can really focus on and appreciate how awesome kids are,” Duhamel explains.

It’s the kind of clarity, he says, that only comes with age.

There was a time when Duhamel felt like he had something to prove in Hollywood. Not just as an early 2000s rom-com heartthrob (Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!), or an action star (Transformers), but that he deserved to be there at all. “I always felt like I was an outsider,” he says. “Sort of imposter syndrome.”

It’s a surprising admission from an actor who’s been in the game for decades — and is now expanding his role in it. He’s fresh off directing his third film, Preschool, a comedy about two dads spiraling into absurd competition over the last spot at an elite school, now on demand.

But somewhere along the way, the pressure started to lift.

These days, Duhamel splits his time between Los Angeles and his native state of North Dakota, a place he once couldn’t wait to leave, and now can’t imagine being without. The family also retreats to a remote cabin in Minnesota, where they can fully unplug.

“When I’m home … my blood pressure drops about 25%,” he says.

It’s a different rhythm than the one he once chased in Hollywood, struggling with the constant push to “work, work, work … trying to achieve, trying to go get mine.”

Now, with another baby on the way and a career that’s still evolving, Duhamel isn’t chasing the next thing in quite the same way. He’s just trying to be present for it.

Below, Duhamel opens up about losing out on roles (including one he thought he had in the bag), what aging in Hollywood actually feels like — and why he’s more excited than ever to start over again as a dad.

You’ve had a lot of different chapters in your career — rom-com lead, dramatic roles, television star. Now you're in your onscreen dad era. When you look back at it all, which chapter has been the most fun for you?

Pretty soon, grandfather roles, I guess. Is that what comes next?

When I look back at it, I just can't believe that I've been doing it as long as I have now. I mean, half my life I've been doing this now, which is crazy. I still see myself as this kid from North Dakota who's in an environment he doesn't belong in.

As I've gotten older, I think I'm more comfortable now than I've ever been.

I think directing has really helped me do that because you really have to have a handle on everything that goes into making this.

In Preschool, dads are battling for the last open spot at this elite school. I'd imagine in Hollywood, sometimes it can feel like that when it's two or three actors down to the wire for one role. How did you navigate that sense of competition?

You've got to be OK with getting told no and getting back up and continuing on, because it can take you out if you don't have that belief that you're going to win.

Growing up in North Dakota, playing sports my whole life — football, basketball, track — I had a real competitive background, really learned how to win, learned how to lose. I think that really helped me in this town because you've got to have a thick skin, man. You've got to be able to just keep going. You've got to keep showing up. I think that's really what I learned early on.

Is there a role you came close to booking that still sticks with you, or something you passed on that you wonder, “What if?”

I was up for [2012's] John Carter. I don't know if you remember that movie. Taylor Kitsch ended up getting it. I thought I was going to get that, and I didn't. That was pretty painful.

The movie didn't do well, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise. But there are so many things that have come and gone. I've lost 10 times more things than I've actually gained, but that's part of this business. You just have to keep going and keep showing up.

Do you think there’s value in falling short sometimes?

I try to teach my kids this — [failing's] good for them. That’s the real world.

It’s heartbreaking as a parent. You know they’re going to get scrapes, they’re going to hurt themselves — they’re going to go through all the things you want to protect them from.

The end of Preschool touches on burnout from being pushed too hard. Has living in North Dakota helped you avoid that and find more balance?

I think so. It's funny because I look back at it, when I left North Dakota, I couldn't wait to leave. I couldn't wait to get out there and see the world. I was like, No way am I going back there. Maybe when I'm 80.

But then, as I got older, I got to go see the world and I met a girl from North Dakota. We sort of fell in love with the place again. We both have the same love for nature, being out on the water and letting the kids run wild.

I think it wasn't so much a burnout with L.A., it was just a search for something a little bit more back to basics, in a way. Because I get so caught up in working and achieving and trying to succeed and just like getting — what do they call it? The mouse wheel?

The hamster wheel.

You get so caught up in that. And I do that every time I come back to LA.

When I'm home at the cabin in Minnesota, or at my place in Fargo … I think that's when I start to really appreciate the things that actually matter.

Is there something you used to worry about in your 20s, 30s or even 40s that you just don't spend your energy on anymore?

I used to put so much pressure on myself to be good, to gain respect as an actor. And again, I didn't feel like I belonged. So I really had to work to try to get that. It was something that I spent too much time worrying about.

Now, yes, I love acting and I love doing it all, but I don't put nearly that same pressure on myself. I used to care way too much about what people thought. The less you care about what people think, it frees you up to actually be better. It's almost weirdly like the less you care, the better you become because you don't hold on so tight. That only comes with aging. We just get wiser. God, if I could have just known that when I was 26.

You’re about to become a dad again, and this time, a girl dad. How does this chapter of fatherhood feel different?

I cannot wait to meet that little thing.

I love having boys, too. My boys are just so much fun. But that little girl — people with girls tell me, "Dude, you are in for it." It just makes me emotional even thinking about it.

Is there something about getting older that’s changed the way you approach parenting?

I love it because, to my point before about working so hard to go achieve and get mine, now I don't care so much about that. It frees me up to really appreciate the moments of having kids.

Because I'm not preoccupied. When I'm with them, I'm with them. And I think that's really something that comes also with age. I have more perspective on the world.

You’ve always been known as a pretty disciplined guy physically. How has your relationship with fitness changed as you’ve gotten older?

Well, I've always been — I don't know if it was out of vanity or what — but since I was young, I've always tried to stay in shape.

Now I do it because I need to keep up with these kids. I need to stay fit for work. So it's really about overall wellness for me now, both internally and externally — yoga, weight training, cardio, whatever it is — but also nutrition and trying to maintain good habits.

I still love pizza and burgers and beer and all those things. But it's everything in moderation — including moderation.

With my company, Gatlan, I've really learned a lot about some cheat codes in this business. There’s a lot of things you can do to optimize… whether it's NAD or Tesamorelin or the Wolverine stack, the BPC-157, TB-500 — all that stuff has really helped me stay strong, stay fit, stay youthful, all those things.

What’s something about aging that people warned you about that actually turned out to be better than expected?

I think that time and experience bring wisdom. I feel like I've seen a lot, I've made a lot of mistakes, so I'm able to recognize pitfalls before they come.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.